silly gain...but now refocused!

so this is what i wrote on my msg board today...

"wellllllllll....i finally had a dreaded gain...but i know why...
so after the dissappointing WI, i had a pity party for one with McD's as the choice food for the gathering...after eating that garbage, i thought and thought what i was doing wrong and really it didn't take long to figure it out...
i think i overcalculated my activity points, undercalculated lots of my portion sizes, didn't count many BLT's (didn't realize i did that as much as i do!!!), and really really didn't eat that many healthy veggies as i was in the previous weeks...plus i had an unexpected visitor this week (yes, i just had that two weeks ago and i WAS on the pill...i have now figured out that too, i started my pills late, and then missed three and boom, TOM started....so i'm off it for right now till my next cycle).
whew...
also, i retook the points quiz and i'm up two points (i upped my activity level from 0 to 2 and i'm not going to calculate my ball as any AP's, cuz really it's not as much as i originally thought)...
so this week i'm going back to eating more veggies (and no more BLT's without counting them), and gotta get back to walking/shredding (i only did it once last week!!!oops)
double whew...there...that's my update!"

and now as i type this i have just finished shredding (oh how i missed it...gah...not really...ow ow ow...lol) and i'm sweating profusely but i have a sneaking suspicion that ball practice will be cancelled tonite cuz it is raining, raining, raining!!! (but even if it wasn't, i should still walk or shred everyday!!!)
so now all my attention will be focusing on remembering the basics...eat smarter, move more, track and get to my meeting next week with a new outlook!!!

things i've noticed...

so, i'm just sitting here enjoying a great lil snack of carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, and snap peas (with a great 3 pt dill dip, if i eat it all...so far i'm at half and getting really full...bonus!!!)
i've noticed that my lil girl LOVES her veggies...moreso than i do and that just makes me feel soooooo good about this lifestyle change ...also, if you were to offer her a piece of chocolate or a babybel cheese, she will always always choose the "BABY"!!!
also, baby boy is getting lots and lots of different veggies as homemade mashed up meals too (he's 7 1/2 months old and has been on solids for over a month now and has done peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash -two kinds- ,potatoes, corn and potatoes and gravy-that was easter-)..with DD she did jarred food which meant we weren't eating those veggies!

also, i've noticed that if i don't get in at least 4 glasses of water a day (at the very minimum), i pay for it in the end (pardon the pun, but you know what system i'm talking about now..yep..digestive!)
i mean i knew fibre was good for me, but wow, do i need the help of water (not to mention i make sure i cook with EVOO all the time now cuz i need that too!!!)

also, i can see differences in my hubby (not huge, but definitely there)...in his face...and in his digestion too (he took lil girl to town on sunday and they went to mickey d's for lunch as a treat...for a big guy, he sure does have a sensitive tum-tum...i think he's just now feeling normal today)...

i've also noticed on the boards how some of the newbies are still armed with that "dieter" mentality. by this i mean they are dissappointed that they don't see bigger numbers on dropping on the scale (i blame those silly water weight diets and maybe even shows like "the biggest loser"--even tho i love that show, i know that losing those big numbers is not healthy nor is it easy to maintain in the end)
this is definitely a lifestyle change and not a diet at all! i know i may have celebrated huge last week because i had a big drop of 3 lbs, but i know that if i lose only .2 this week, it's still a loss and not to be "dissappointed"...i'm still awaiting the dreaded plateau too (cuz i know it will come)...but i'm armed with information and the knowledge that it too will pass (someone remind me of that fact, when my day comes, kay???lol)

well, snack time is over and now time to focus on what to make for lunch cuz hubby won't be home...hmmmmmm....
laters!

The good thing is...

Yep, the good thing this week is that i lost 3 lbs!!! i have never lost that much (came close at 2.8), sooooo i guess stress was good???!!!???lol
also, i had a great first practice at Fastball yesterday (a just a wee bit sore, mostly in my throwing arm...even running around the ball field for a warm up was okay!) thank goodness for shredding...cardio is getting better..whew! even tho sore today i decided to shred anyway (it's raining and no way i walk in the rain!!!lol...) and i had bought two 2 lb hand weights on tuesday so i could put the soupcans away (or hmmm, maybe eat them!) ...ow ow ow is all i can say...but i'm glad i did it and it only will hurt for a few hours then i can have a nice long relaxing hot bath (once the kids are in bed!!)
hmmm....what else...oh yeah, and we had needles for my lil man yesterday...he isn't that lil...lol...hes' 22lbs 2 oz!!!and 28 " long...and 7 months old!!!no wonder my back hurts and my arms are getting muscle tone!!lol

okay...i just got off the msg boards and one thing that i keep seeing is a whole lot of returnees (did i talk about this before?)...it really bothers me cuz i don't want to fail at this just to come back in a couple months or a year with my tail between my legs but i know i'm a prime candidate for exactly that! i know my past record is "go hard for 3 months or so, then..." with karate, with kickboxing, with gym memberships, with herbal magic....and the list probably goes on!!!
i don't wanna get to busy with other things and neglect this...i just hope that when i need motivation, it will be readily available...
well, i'm gonna go check another ppl's blog (the one with recipes) and see what's for dinner!!!lol
later!!!

Aggravating day...hope the stress doesn't make me not lose!

ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!
That's my motto for today! er, i mean yesterday...it's 6 mins after midnite and i've never been soooooooooooo happy to say goodbye to a day as i am right now!
it started in the wee hours of the morn, which really is not unusual...hungry lil man woke up hungry, so i fed him...then at 5:30, he wakes up again but decides after he's eaten, that it's time to stay up....GREAT! (hear the sarcasm in that?)
so finally at 8:30 (after hubby has gotten up and gotten ready for work and left), lil man is hungry again just a lil and cranky and loud and TIRED!!!finally. back to bed we both go...i got in another hour of sleep before DD got up, bless her lil soul...she's so sweet when she first gets up. so up we get and get slowly going in our day...then lil man gets up around 10-10:30, but he's cranky pants...teething i think...i tried everything i knew to console...just not possible...finally at lunch he's in his jolly jumper and Dad comes home and he quiets down...whew, finally.
well, wouldn't you know that once dad leaves he starts up again...so i figure that he's TIRED again and yeah, so off to nappy land he goes...meanwhile DD just wants sooooo badly to go outside and go to the park, but now i've got a sleeping baby....arrrrgh....she waits...we go after lil man gets up again...
but now it's getting later and later and silly me, doesn't take the double stroller...i took the single thinking DD is a big enough girl to walk, plus i want to tire her out too...bad idea...she loses it once i tell her we have to get going home to make supper...
also, all day i'm looking forward to my upcoming ball practice...i was sooooooo happy when i got asked to play again this year, cuz last year i couldn't cuz i was preggo and i missed it! i suck, but i love it, the team thing, getting outside, getting away from the kids, feeling somewhat young again in a healthy way, etc.
well, now i've consoled DD and we are finally walking home, get supper going and lil man starts to lose it again...no biggie, he's hungry...i feed him, still crying, i rock him, still crying, i give him tylenol for teething pain, still crying.........arrrrrrrrrgh...i finally just leave him sittin on the floor with DD entertaining him so that i can at least get supper finished...and i totally botched supper...didn't have a reallly great plan, so i threw cut up meat, onions, mushrooms together...then i added cream cheese and sour cream to make some sort of messy dish and then i go to make rice....and that's where things got ugly....i didn't know i was low on minute rice and now i don't have time to make the long grain kind, so i figure i'll just cook the lil rice up in the big bowl of water i had it in and just drain it after it'scooked....ewwwwwwwww....don't do this EVER!!!
i wound up stopping...going to rock baby to sleep...and start over...it's now after 6.
DH has called saying he would be home in time for me to get to ball practice at 6:30...tick tick tick...nothing....tick tick tick...i've now made a whole new supper of grilled meat, onions, gr pep and red pep...to make fajita's...tick tick tick...i eat the other stuff, and ewwwwwww...never again without a recipe!!!
finally i call DH at 6:37 and ask, should i just call someone to come and watch the kids, cuz i'm now late....no, no, no...i'll be home in 15 mins...well, practice will be half over by then, nevermind...i'd rather miss a practice then a game...click. now i'm upset. i've been looking forward to this all day...dh said he would be home in plenty of time...why oh why couldn't he have just called to say, something came up i can't make it home on time, better get someone to watch the kids....it's now close to 7, i get lil girl's shoes and jacket on and take her outside to the backyard to play...supper is cooked and getting cold...finally dh gets home it's 7. i have a mini breakdown and wind up walking my bike to the gas station to fill the tires with air, then start to ride it to the ball diamond...oh yeah, i left my glove at home too...i am almost at the diamond now and pop, there goes my front tire...i rode the stupid bike for 3 minutes...great!
now i go see the girls practicing and say my apologies....and now i have to walk stupid bike home!!!!by the time i get back i'm calmed down enough to see the humour in my day....
oh...and i used up all my wp's that i had left...for pie and cookies!!!i deserved it i figure....and WI is tomorrow...i mean today.
arrrrrrrrrrrgh!

I'm really liking this whole blog thing...i used to be a journaller long long time ago and this is just as theraputic...although it is wayyyyyyy more public (i think, if anyone is actually reading this?)

soooooo...like i just posted on the message boards with my group "Mommies and me" (which i soooooo love, the girls on there keep me motivated and totally rock...what a great tool to help assist in keeping you accountable!!!) it's the next best thing to having joined WW meetings with a friend (which didn't happen, but at least there are a great amount of local ladies that drive into town for the meetings!)...anywho, as i was saying, like i just posted on the message boards, i am making a "back burner" goal of being a success story!
i just finished reading yet another inspiring success story and whatever that "je ne ce-quoi" *sp?* is that those people have in getting and maintaining their goal weight, is something that i know i have in me, now i just have to remember that i have it and not lose it along the way for those low times (aka plateaus that are inevitable)!!!
my short term goal right now is to just get to my 10% weight goal of 178.4 and GET MY CONTACT LENSES!!! originally i thought of buying a pretty lil sundress for the hubby's upcoming homecoming/school closure event happening in july, but i will be continueing to lose weight/dress sizes so that's a no go til that event gets closer (although i'm pretty nervous about the whole clothes shopping experience, but more on that later!)
and i just looked up in my book what my 10% goal was and they have it wrong at 173.25 ??? i think it's cuz i joined two weeks before the new "intake rotation" started then i prepaid and got a whole new book and they used that weeks weight as my start weight...i should get that clarified next week and also check to see if they have the passwords in for accessing the e-tools on the website...last week i asked and they didn't have any so they had to order more...i love the website but i need the meetings as i don't have a credit card so i can't do the online program even if i wanted to (which after this 12 week rotation, i was thinking about doing....but i guess not)...oh well!

so it is day four and i have only used 3 wp's and i have accumulated 12 ap's so far...i plan on not touching those ap's if at all possible and as long as i don't go too deep into my wp's tonite i should have plenty for tomorrow nite (have a church supper/silent auction that we get to attend, but we were supposed to be going to a friend's baby's birthday celebration, which is now postponed to next friday nite)...sooooo i know we are having fried chicken for supper tomorrow so as long as i eat lite during the day, i shouldn't really dip too heavily into those wp's...then i have all day monday and most of the day tuesday to drink a tonne of water and flush the ol' system and stick to using just my dp's (which during the week is sooo easy to stick to)
i wonder why it is that the weekends are sooo lax, altho way way back when i used to have the mentality that once the weekend hit, it was party time (and oh boy i used to party it up!!!another reason for the weight...darn alcohol and late nite bingeing! not to mention the hangover cure of mickey d's french fries the next day!!!lol) ...at least i don't do that do myself anymore...being grownup has really changed my priorities! but i still think of it as a lax time ie. feast time when it comes to meals/snacks!
i should really try to change that thinking...something to work on i guess...
well...enough of this , i have to vaccuum and actually fold the clean clothes that have been clean for the past two days...lol....oh, and the kitchen needs a good cleaning...someday i will get to the spring cleaning of the rest of the house too!
oh hey, did i mention that i'm going to be joining the women's fastball team again this year...i had last year off as i was pregnant with Tobin, and the year before was awesome except for i never did bat a ball...wayyyyyy faster than the slo-pitch i was used to from years ago...lol...
laters!!!

some thoughts i've been thoughting about...

First off, I missed yesterday but think every other day should be good enough as then i have a little more to write about...my life is pretty the same every day during the week so there won't be a whole lot of variety...;)

next, i missed my workout yesterday but once again...every other day should be okay until my actual copy of the 30 day shred gets here...lol...excuse number 1...for now...lol

also, i have been really good about sticking to my dp's...haven't dipped in the wp's yet! saving up for the weekend as per usual. and i've gathered 10 ap's so far, working on getting up close to 20 by WI day...i really like walking pushing a stroller opposed to just walking by myself...also, it's alot more eventful when i go and pick up my friend barb...i like having someone to talk to!

now onto some other thoughts...

I love love love my life...it sometimes seems too good to be true, then i think of the things i've endured in order to get here...i mean it's not perfect, but it's pretty dang close! don't get me wrong, i have the ups and downs (usually really really big downs when they come...but through those, i always know it'll be okay)...i've always known that, that deep down somewhere or way way up there somewhere, someone or something will get me through whatever comes my way, and it'll all be okay. call it what you will (i use a couple of different things) like God, the Creator, etc...i just know he's there for me and there are either angels or something watching out for me! and now for my kids!

ah, my kids...the reason for everything i do now...i thought once i found my hubby that i knew what love was, but it's only one small part of the whole picture. not to make our love sound non-significant because he is my soul-mate, i know that in my heart of hearts! but now that we have created life twice, the full feeling of complete and total love surrounds me everyday!!!
i know that i would never hesitate in laying my life down for either of them and that being on WW's is the best thing for all of us. I am getting healthy for the greater good, and in turn am getting hubby healthy and therefore teaching my kids the benefits of good healthy eating and exercise. That is a main responsibility i owe them in being their parent!
not only that but i do not want them to see either me or their father suffer from the myriad of diseases associated with being obese. I watched what the complications from diabetes did to my dad less than a year ago, when it finally took his life and i do not want to go that way or watch the love of my life succumb to that fate!
i'm not going to waste time in going over the fact that i shouldv'e done this a long time ago. yes hindsight is 20/20, but you can't change what's past, right?
the important thing is I'm doing it now! and the bonus of it all is i'm going to be one hot momma!!!lol

well...i finally got lil man down for a nap (took 4 times of going in and rocking him during writing this blog, but i think i won! momma's boy!) so i shall get my shredding shoes on and get my butt (as sore as it still is...lol) moving!!

thanks for checking out the tpartee!!!
laters!

Pre-shred shredding

So, i just hopped outta the shower and baby boy is awake and playing on the floor, while i dry off, so i thought i'd pop on here for a quick min!
I just did my pre-shred shred workout (my cheater version for free on utoob), but i have ordered my copy of the whole thing cuz i sure would like to know what stretches i'm missing out on at the end (it cuts off...lol)
i feel great today cuz i only took one lil break during the jumping jacks (i gots alot of jiggly when i don't want it, no matter what sports bra i use...tmi, sorry...lol)
Tempel (my two year old DD) is just entertaining me and the baby now by dancing to her demo program on her keyboard...too cute!!!
i think i'm going to pack up the kids (it was supposed to rain but now looks like it will miss us) and run into town for groceries real quick. get back for lunch and then take them for a walk followed by time at the park!!!and somewhere in there i will figure out what to make for supper and clean up the kitchen (oh, and do one load of laundry so hubby gets his favorite sweater back!)...whew...
look at all the things i can accomplish once i'm done taking care of myself first! maybe i shoulda been doing a long time ago, but no time for regrets!!!
have a great OP day all!

Sooooo....here i am!

Well, here I am all! Just getting my blog on!
I noticed right off the bat I have to cut down on my exclamation point use, as it could become extremely annoying...
so, as my profile reads, i have now been on WW for 6 weeks (total loss to date is 10.6 lbs...who knew that those .? losses could come to mean sooooo much)
this week was my least amount of poundage lost to date but Easter dinner was sooooooo good, and so was the leftovers, and the leftovers, oh and the leftovers!
new week, new goal, right?
well, this week i goal to get back on my motivated horsey (who i'll name later...lol) and up my AP earnings, and not eat them all in one sitting! :)
why oh why is it soooo darn easy to slip back into your old eating habits when you know that it's "wrong" (aka unhealthy, bad, slow death, etc), especially when the new you is looking at the food and saying "tsk, tsk, tsk, do you know how many miles you will have to walk to burn that off your @ss???"
and honestly i don't want to be a Newbie again (i've noticed on the boards, there are a whack of returnee's, those that have lost and then left and then gained and are back)...i've made this commitment to myself, for myself and my family and gosh darn it, i want this!
I can already feel the difference a 5% loss of body weight feels and it makes me want more...
i want to play with my kids and not be winded when i get up!
i want to take a 30 minute walk and not sweat profusely.
i want to look smokin' for a 30-some year old (33 to be exact, but i plan on this being a long term thing so i'm covering 33-39 for now!)
i want, i want, i want!
and what Tawney wants, Tawney gets!

i look back on all i've accomplished in my life and i know i can do this.
Surviving my teen years was hard, and i did it.
Basic Training was hard, and I did it.
Going back to school was hard, and i did it.
Being a reporter was hard, and i did it.
Giving birth was hard, and i did that, twice!
I can do this, cuz its sooooo not hard, i just need to stick to it!

there, first blog done!
till next time, thanks for joining my t-partee!!!